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What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like... - Chapter 8What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like...
Epilogue: A Message from Brian
We see Brian in front of a black screen.
"Hi," he says. "I hope you have enjoyed this 'what if' anthology of what would have happened to me in the episode Life of Brian. I, for one, am glad to be back on the show, and am pleased to inform you all that no talking dogs were harmed during production. Thank you for your time, and good night."
What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like... - Chapter 7What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like...
If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 3)
Several months have passed, and it was near Christmas time. The Griffins were all watching Home Alone with Competent Robbers when Lois came into the living room, ready to go to the mall. It was time for the annual Christmas Carnival.
"Come on, everybody," Lois said. "Let's go to the mall. It's time for the Christmas Carnival. It's Stewie's first Christmas."
"Again?" Stewie dismissed.
"I love the Christmas Carnival!" Chris said, excited.
"Chris, calm down," Lois said to her son. "You're giving yourself a nosebleed."
At the Quahog mall, the Griffins were waiting in line for Stewie to see Santa. However, Brian noticed that Stewie was feeling depressed for some reason.
"What's the matter, Stewie?" Brian asked. "You're up to see Santa and you look depressed."
"I dunno, Brian," answered Stewie. "I thought the Christmas Carnival would mak
What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like... - Chapter 6What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like...
If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 2)
One month later, in the Griffin house, it was lunch time. Lois was about to serve Brian some lunch when she realized that Brian can only eat dog biscuits now, or so she thought.
"Oh, wouldn't you believe it, Brian?" She said. "I almost served you again. Silly me. It's been a month since you started going on that dog biscuit diet."
"Yeah, Brian," Peter added. "Don't you like Lois' cooking anymore?"
"The food Lois cooks is okay," Brian began, "but I like these dog biscuits better. Whenever I take a bite of them, I feel like I'm fully..."
He stopped short when seeing Stewie give some hand signals. He had just almost given himself away.
"Fully...what?" Lois repeated.
"Fully," Brian began, "fully...fully revitalized. They're a more healthy kind of dog biscuit."
"Really, what are they made of?" Peter asked.
"Uh," Brian started, "vitamin-enriched
What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like... - Chapter 5What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like...
If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 1)
Like before, Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.
"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win."
Finally, the two were on the road.
"God," Brian said, "look at this day, huh? You know, usually, I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it."
"Yes, it is a nice change of pace," Stewie agreed. Then, he realized, "Oh, wait. I got to go grab my knee pads. I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway, I'll be right back."
Stewie made his way inside the house while Brian put the net together. However, before he could go any further, Stewie heard the sound of screeching tire
HomesickI am the river's son,
my arteries flowing turquoise
and turning to rapids
rushing around my frame,
filling me with this sense
of buoyancy, minnows
tickling my sternum.
I am the river's son.
My palms caress each
silty shoreline, every
battered bank and bend,
and these places I know
so well become me
as my fingerprint,
even the bridge above me
inflamed by the afternoon
sun-glow, burning rusty and
the steel blue sky.
I am the river's son;
I bring my home along
like hermit crab,
where I step
I pull water from the earth.
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